At last count, I had over 200 board and card games, including various expansions and such that comes out for them. As for RPGs, I have well over 100 books for a large variety of systems.¹ And, on top of that, I’ve been purchasing RPG PDFs for quite a few years now,² and I think I have twice as many PDFs as hard copy books, though I haven’t counted those up in quite some time.

The saddest thing of all, though, is that I don’t have anywhere near the time I would like to play all this stuff. It’s a happy yet sad problem. Anytime we³ head out to visit family or friends, I usually load up a milk crate with a small selection of games, in the hopes that I may be able to sit someone at a table and play something. My wife supports this, thankfully, as this hobby is very social.

Actually, it was one of her long-time friends⁴ who first got us into this whole “Eurogaming” thing years ago. They would do the same thing whenever they came⁵ to our house. We could always count on them to bring a new stack of games they’d found. They introduced us to Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, Carcassone, Evo,⁶ etc. We also always had to play a number of games of Euchre.

These days, my gaming addiction is fed when I go to the International House of Johnson, where lives Overlord Johnson himself, his lovely wife, and his young apprentice. We meet every two weeks and play, well, anything. These days, we’re in the midst of a Savage Worlds RPG game set in Roger Zelazny’s Amber, and GM’d by none other than Overlord Miller himself.

But, damn, I wish I could game more than that. Why? Because I want to play Exalted. I want to play True20. I want to play Mutants & Masterminds, D&D 4e, Burning Wheel, Untold, Star Wars Saga, Pathfinder, Fantasycraft, Fireborn, Legend of the Five Rings, Alpha & Omega, etc.⁷

I want to play Descent, Battlelore, Arkham Asylum, Cosmic Encounter, Age of Conan, Dominion,⁸ Pandemic, Race for the Galaxy, Smallworld, Keltis, Tomb, Wasabi, Titan, etc.⁹

Thankfully, my gaggle of gosslings are getting to the age where they’re interesting! Yes, old enough to read and write and count. Thus! Old enough to game! Yes, I can pull out Settlers of Catan and play with my two oldest sons and the wife. I can pull out Battlelore and wage war on my oldest son. I can toss down some Munchkin and backstab and steal to my heart’s content.

Well, usually. They still have to do their schooling and chores. And I have my own honey-do list to work off. But, thankfully, I can usually toss in one, maybe two, more game nights into any given month with just my family.

Haha to all you people that stood in shock and wonder when I said I had six little shin-kickers. Little did you know that I was training my own “next generation” in gaming!

But, damn, I wish I could game more…

1. Keep in mind this counts for all the D&D 4e books and Star Wars Saga books, etc.
2. Curse you, RPGnow.com!
3. The Gaggle of Gosslings, as it were.
4. Hyun Joo and Jason Zuck, for anyone that may know them
5. Usually after a 3-5 hour drive. Yes, they lived a fair distance away.
6. If you haven’t played Evo, by the way, you really, really need to. Let me know when you want to play, and I’ll come over with my copy in hand.
7. And yes, I have all of these. Sick, ain’t it?
8. Another must play, by the way. MUST!
9. Again, yes, these are all in my collection.

Designed By: Lisa Steenson, Lori Dieda

Published By: Gut Bustin’ Games

# of Players: 2 – 6

Playing Time: 60 minutes (this per BBG, but I disagree)

At a Glance: Do you say Redneck like it’s a bad thing? A roll of 2 dice determines the grade you complete in school, which sets you up for one of 11 fabulous careers such as Mullet Salon Operator or Monster Truck Announcer. Journey through Blue Collar Americana by going into debt to purchase a vehicle, get married, divorced, re-married, purchase a home, and raise a passel of young’uns. Through accidents and brawls, players lose teeth during the game. Buy some back if you can… as the player with the most teeth remaining at the end of the game wins!

What The Goose? Let me start off with this simple comment: This game was a hoot! When the Go Redneckin’ card that announced the judging of a REAL hog calling contest was to begin, my mouth dropped open. And then the hog calling commenced. Let me tell you, it was hilarious! If I hadn’t hurt myself laughing, I think I may have wet my pants.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Set-up of the game was fairly straight forward and simple. Set the board out, shuffle the cards and put them in the marked spaces, fill the plastic sheet with all the “rigs” we get to buy, usually on credit. This was probably my main gripe on the game, the separation of cards. The Go Redneckin cards were so tightly packed together, and of such low quality, that they stuck together. The came apart well enough, but it definitely took extra effort.

Put your pawns on the starting crushed beer can, and you’re ready to begin. Oh, but wait, first you have to roll up your redneck name. This consisted of rolling a red and a blue six-sided dice, and then comparing those numbers to a chart. Billy Bob, Bubba Jr., etc. Then you jsut roll the dice and move your mice… er, pawns. On a side note, it is suggested you use your favorite beer caps in place of the cheap plastic pawns. Yes, this would’ve added another small dimension of fun.

This is a roll-and-move game, and heavily dependent on that luck. You land on the spaces and do what the space says. You could hit a tooth out with a beer bottle while driving, or you might be swatted by your Uncle Reverend, and loose a tooth.

There are a few spaces on the board that you MUST stop on, no matter the roll, and follow the directions. This included getting your education and subsequent job (which consisted of anything from a Ciggy Shack attendant, a Monster Truck Rally Announcer, and even a Mullet-shop Owner), getting hitched (you roll for your spouses name), then divorced, then rehitched (you roll again, and hope to get either the same name or something close due to tattoo removal fees), and some gambling.

You start the game out with no money, and you quickly go into debt. When you get your education and job, that’s it! You don’t get to change your job and attached pay. Throughout the game you’re going to get some young’ens, including quite a few red-headed step children named Darryl, each of which lowers your pay by $10. They do come in handy at the end of the game, but otherwise they’re just a drain on your non-existent resources.

This game was a blast to play. It’s definitely one you need the right group of friends to enjoy and it’s probably a game you won’t bring out all the time. But when you need a good, hard laugh, this is one to pull out, slap down and easily waste a couple of hours with a redneck drawl and some hog-calling.