At A Glance: Bob Howard is a computer-hacker desk jockey, who has more than enough trouble keeping up with the endless paperwork he has to do on a daily basis. He should never be called on to do anything remotely heroic. But for some reason, he is.

What the Goose? The good evil folks at the Secret Lair had decided in the last podcast¹ to add this book to the Secret Library.² Being a loyal minion friend and wanting to support these good evil folk, I decided to give this one a read.³

I’ll admit that I have had this book in my library for some time now.⁴ I tried reading it. Twice. But I found it a bit too dry for me. A bit too technical. So I put it down each time after only the first chapter and let it gather dust for awhile, thinking I’d get back to it eventually.

When the Overlords⁵ announced this was going to be discussed next, I decided to try again. And, thankfully, Audible even had it as an audiobook I could download. Woohoo! I can read any book⁶ during my 45 minute drive to and from work in Akron. I downloaded it to the ol’ iPod⁷ and away we go.

By the way, I’m not a fan of the Hard Sci-Fi genre. Don’t get me wrong, there are many stories of sci-fi that I enjoy immensely, including such authors as Isaac Asimov and Lois McMaster Bujold,⁸ just to name two. But Hard Sci-Fi just isn’t in my bailiwick of what I like to read.

The Atrocity Archives consists of two long, related novellas, The Atrocity Archives and The Concrete Jungle. And in both we follow along in the footsteps of Bob Howard, a computer hacker/techie who works for the Laundry, which in turn is your basic British black ops unit that defends the world from occult happenings, including anything we would consider found within the Cthulhu mythos.

Yes, folks. Sounds like it should be a blend of 007 and Cthulhu, right? I was expecting a mash-up of Ian Fleming and H. P. Lovecraft, complete with action, adventure, gadgets, fast women, and fast cars mixed in with tentacle-wearing horrors, mind-wracking monstrosities, or evil-mad cultists. What I read was closer to a technical text-book on how Alan Turing, the father of modern computer science, completed his theorem on “Phase Conjugate Grammars for Extra-dimensional Summoning” and made it possible to summon demons and cast spells using computers and palm pilots.⁹

I had a hard time finishing the book. When Howard started on a monologue¹⁰ on how things worked or where things came from, my mind wandered greatly. The story was very interesting, in and of itself, especially when it included demon possession, dimension hopping, damsels in distress, dead planets, zombie guards, and gorgon-wielding bureaucrats. But the blandness and frequency of the paperwork descriptions and complaints or the technical mumbo-jumbo just lost me. There were times when I’d start the book up for the drive, and I’d have to listen for a few minutes, skimming back and forth,¹¹ trying to figure out if I had somehow skipped a chapter. Other times, I’d leave the book for a day to listen to a gaming-related podcast or even just the radio.

Yes, I found it very bland, indeed.

I’ve not read anything else by Mr. Stross. If I have to base the likelihood of my reading him again based on this book alone, the chances are very slim that I’d pick up another Stross story. If his other books are written similarly to this, then I can say now that I’m not going to be a Charles Stross fan. My apologies, sir.

I do want to be sure to give two thumbs up to the narrator of this version, Gideon Emery. He did a fantastic job. The character voices were all distinctive, and I think he read this book the way it was meant to be read.¹²

As for recommendations, I’d say anyone who really enjoys Hard Sci-Fi mixed with Cthulhu and sprinkled profusely with dry procedural nonsense would greatly enjoy this book.

Suck-o-meter: This book Kinda Sucked.

1. The last one I listened to at the time of writing this, anyway. There could be more out. I still don’t know the schedule they’re using.
2. Though, it’s not really all that secret.
3. Despite the fact that the previous novels selected have held either little interest for me or were very poor choices in general.
4. In the form of the anthology On Her Majesty’s Occult Service, which consists of two main books, The Atrocity Archives and The Jennifer Morgue.
5. Kris and Chris, for those who don’t know them, on the Secret Lair.
6. Or so I thought.
7. I really need to find a good name for my iPod Touch. Something goose-related.
8. Spaceships and robots make it sci-fi to me. Please don’t yell.
9. Yeah, seriously. The protagonist does it many times throughout the book.
10. These could be either internal or external. Sometimes, I couldn’t tell the difference.
11. Not while I was driving. Thanks.
12. Unfortunately, perhaps, that way is very dry and English, for lack of a better description.